Through an improbable series of events and an impossibly bungled supermarket hold-up, down on their luck con men Matt and Wilbur find themselves working with the Miami police force. As they patrol the streets of the city, their main job becomes trying to break the hold of the city's street gangs, including one group of teens in old movie-gangster style clothes, led by a kid named Geronimo who dresses in full Indian warrior regalia.
Written by
Jean-Marc Rocher
Plot Synopsis:
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Matt Kirby (Terence Hill) arrives to Miami. He is a drifter who has travelled in a ship hidden with the cargo and has to leg it when he's discovered. Asks for a job as stivadore but is refused in not friendly terms, in spite of being in front of a long list of waiting-to-be-filled jobs, so he wrecks the car of the person who denies him a position. Wilbur Walsh (Bud Spencer) arrives just minutes away from Kirby, and is told the same: or he belongs to the only available union or has nothing to do. He wrecks the new car of the manager. The managers asks for another new car to be brought in. The manager happens to be Fred "Curly" Cline (Luciano Catenacci), a criminal - which it has never been proved.
Walsh and Kirby's paths meet while they are running from the police, called because of the wreckage of the cars. They have to make amends and leave the place together. They wreck the third car, this time making the manager do it himself, helped by some of his thugs. Walsh is reluctant even to speak to Kirby, but he pesters him. In fact, he ends up calling the psychiatrict ward telling them that a fat man is about to commit suicide jumping from a bridge. The male nurses arrive with a straight jacket but it's impossible for them to put it on Wilbur Walsh. He punches them and then, sees Matt Kirby looking at the "show".
They finally go to a humble diner where they strike conversation with two motorbike road officers who suggest that they join the police force. They seem to agree, but it's just a way to be in good terms with the local police, as they intend to rob a local supermarket, because after so many adventures they have no money or job. They haven't got any weaponry, but Walsh intends to stick out a finger from inside one of his jeans pockets, so that the bulk looks like a gun. However, when they reach the intended location of the robbery, they find out that they have been tricked, and the flat belongs to the police themselves. They sit down as though they are waiting for their turn to be enlisted. The two road officers appear and offer to take them to the place of enlistment, actually saving Walsh and Kirby from ending up in jail themselves.
Feeling trapped, they have no other option than to comply and enlist. Capt. McBride (David Huddleston) soon makes Kirby the apple of his eye. The day that their training is finished, McBride says that he won't accept any resignations before six months' time, unless somebody ends up dead in a body bag. Without speaking about it, both Kirby and Walsh decide that their only way is to be such bad police officers that McBride will expel them from the force.
The frist thing Kirby does is to bamp onto another car, with such luck that two runaway criminals were inside. One of their workmates suggests to McBride that that was "beginners' luck", but McBride thinks that it's attention and talent for law enforcement. He makes Kirby the patrol boss.
Kirby flirts with a Chinese girl, Susy Lee (Laura Gemser), who takes them to her home. She and her father show them the photograph about Susy's disappeared boyfriend.
To be dismissed, Kirby and Walsh treat Lieutenant Governor (Edy Biagetti) very roughly because of speed limit surpassing, although he was not resisting. The important man complains to McBride, but that only makes McBride more interested in the new officers, praising them by radio. Walsh and Kirby are becoming the stars of the force in Miami.
The criminals have to act: Kirby and Walsh are breaking the status quo. Fred Curly hires Geronimo (Luciano Rossi) to hurt them badly for six months. They don't want Geronimo to kill them because that would anger the whole police body, so it's better to make them need a wheelchair for six months. Geronimo and his thugs (Ottaviano Dell'Acqua, Alex Edlin...) fight Walsh and Kirby in the Miami rugby stadium. Kirby and Walsh win, obviously.
After talking to the Chinese man again, they start wondering why they find him everywhere. He advises Walsh "the big dragon" to follow the advise of "the little tiger", but Walsh says that that has only brought him trouble. They find the two patrolmen of the beginning who are jealous of their ascendent on McBride.
Through radio, a car breakdown is announced. Walsh doesn't want to go because he's just started a hamburger - he doesn't want to share with Kirby, but when Matt comes back to say that the occupants are two blondes in skimpy clothes, Wilbur runs there. The two blondes are Countess Galina Kochilova (Jill Flanter) and Angie Crawford (April Clough). Galina tells Angie to leave the "big guy" to her, making the audience imply that it's some kind of ambushment. The two ladies flirt with the two police officers. As they behave shamelessly, Wilbur Walsh mends their car fast. Angie tells about the Countess having a mansion in Miami, and invites them for the weekend.
Galina cannot smoke the way she thinks countesses should smoke to save her life, so she gets frustrated. A butler Pierre (Emilio Delle Piane) opens the door and asks for Walsh and Kirby's hats, which they found strange. They are ridiculous in their Sunday-like clothes. The two young women appear in bikinis and take the plastic flowers from the two men. The girls go swimming in the pool, which gives Walsh and Kirby time to notice a photograph of Galina with red hair. Both realise the girls are prostitutes, and that they are in the house where there is going to be an ambush, probably organized by Fred Curly. The girls tell Pierre / Piero to make the men drunk during dinner. The two men show their bad table manners at all times.
The two men make the girls and Pierre completely drunk, even when the butler says that he is a teetotaller. Bad manners go around the table at that time. Wilbur asks about the photograph, and Galina says that it is the photograph of her sister Princess Lexia, married to General Molotov, a relative of the inventor of the Molotov cocktails. The two police officers are the only sober people.
In the morning, they reach the harvour, and they find suspicious movements in the ship cargo. They do not stay with the goods; they follow the leading car, reaching the same warehouse in the harvour from where they were kicked out at the beginning. Another road officer (Duilio Olmi) asks them what they are doing around there. They show them their badge and ask him to stick around just in case.
They see a politician with a briefcase knocking the door with a password, and they take notice of it. They use it to enter the place, knocking the doorman down. Probably, the bowling alleys are just the front for some criminal business. Inside, it seems like there is a meeting. Inside the bowls, there are drugs, Fred Curly and some other minor criminals. The Chinese man who died at the beginning probably stole something unbeknowst that it was something much more important and dangerous than what he had thought about.
They enter and tell everybody to put their hands up. One of the criminals realises that the guns are unloaded. The 18 criminals run after Kirby and Walsh. Puches come back and forth in the bowling alley. There is a stupid thug (Riccardo Pizzuti) which keeps on coming back to tell their bosses that he's seen some suspicious strangers.
At that moment, McBride and many more policemen arrive to detain the criminals. McBride congratulates Walsh and Kirby. McBride tells Kirby to shave for the last time.
McBride will let them quit after they have written their report. Kirby and Walsh bring present to the children of the Chinese family. They finally tell them that their relative is dead. They also give them some money for the education of the children. Walsh is angry because he's given all his money to that family. However, McBride asks for blood donations from the A-B Negative group because the two patrolmen of the beginning have been hurt, and they go to assist them.
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