Plot Synopsis:
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lor_ from New York, New York
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COUNT EROTICA -VAMPIRE is among the least interesting of the periodic attempts to combine classic horror archetypes with pornography. A decent condition but only partial version (last couple of reels totally omitted) is issued by Something Weird on DVD-R as support feature for its Zebedy Colt opus THE DEVIL INSIDE HER.

Usually an incomplete film is frustrating for obvious reasons (closure is best), but given its uninteresting content and slapdash treatment I was relieved when this baby suddenly ended.

The most attention here was paid to the credits, appearing in attractive calligraphy stamped on gravestones. It's literally downhill from there. The count is a bearded/mustachioed guy personified listlessly by "Antona Morell", whose acting consists mainly of wearing the requisite black cape. He has greenish/white makeup on his face but is not visually impressive -any random Ricky's customer could do as well.

IMDb comically has "Sex with a retarded person" displayed as a keyword (I shudder to think who's searching for films with that characteristic), but it turns out to be referring to sex with Keith Erickson, hamming it up maniacally as the usual idiotic assistant. He's not Dwight Frye, and he's basically just giggling and acting silly when not humping.

The Count's vampire bride Angelique is a striking presence in the form of Carmen Olivera. Once you get past her protruding ribcage (anorexia is nothing new), she's impressive in one of her more prominent roles. She has an overlong lesbian scene (virtually softcore as shot) with real estate agent Robin Tate, a cute but untalented performer who looks around beseechingly for direction as the sex begins, and shows little enthusiasm.

Erickson is caught humping "Bugs", a plush toy bunny, but Angelique forgives him and humps him, as the soundtrack LP for ON THE TOWN is pirated for background score. It is fully 25 minutes into the film before any XXX content is provided.

At the 33-minute mark an innocent young couple arrives (yes, ROCKY HORROR was spoofing time-honored horror formats), and the count turns to the camera, saying confidentially "Kids, what do they want, Withering Heights?". In keeping with prior script clunkers, this desultory attempt at humor ends the film abruptly.

So the deflowering of the youngsters will have to wait for another reissue. Since the three extant reels of COUNT EROTICA are in good condition, it seems to be a case of mislabeled cartons or just sloppy storage that sabotaged this junker, and it couldn't have happened to a more ephemeral candidate for cinematic obsolescence.

doggystyle sex|real estate agent|cunnilingus|ejaculation|fellatio|whipping|sex with a stuffed animal|sex with a retarded person|sex with boots on|lesbian sex|coffin|vampire|sex|hardcore|

AKAs Titles:


Certifications:
USA:X (self applied)